Oh...you're a Christian?

A demonym, also known as a gentilic, is a name of a resident of a country and is derived from the name of the home of origin. The word comes from the Greek word for "populace" and helps to identify residents from a particular place. It is a personal name describing the inhabitants of an area that may be recognized by particular characteristics. The most common suffix for a demonym is "an". Here are some examples:

• Brazili-ans - people from Brazil
• Americ-ans - people from America
• Europe-ans - people from Europe
• Egypti-ans - people from Egypt

Stay with me, sis. I promise there isn't a quiz :) The people of a nation are named according to where they are from and identifiable characteristics. Meaning, if you come across an American in Japan, generally you can tell their nationality by their language, physical traits, and certain habits or mannerisms. The same applies for Egyptians, Europeans, and Brazilians. Interesting, huh? That leads me to this: 

• Christi-ans - people from Christ

The name is tossed around so loosely that it has lost significance. Are you identifiable as a Christian, one from Christ, by your language, physical traits, or certain habits and mannerisms? If you never told anyone outside of your church that you were a Christian, would they know? Even our family names, your last name has significance to many of us. We are proud to be "Sharpes, Williams, Crosses," or whatever. People that don't even know you can look at you sometimes and see a resemblance to your family members. I've definitely had people say to me "Ain't you Carolyn's daughter?" or "You look just like them Stewards". (Pardon the grammar, I'm from the country.) But when it comes to the most important title I hold, a Christian, am I as recognizable? 

When I shared with a colleague that I would be launching a blog for Christian women, she replied "But Kim, are you a Christian? I mean I know you really love Jesus and you've changed a lot. But I thought Christians wore long dresses and talked only about God or did church stuff and you know...kinda act like they think they are better than everybody else. You don't dress like that or act like that. Or maybe sometimes they say they are Christians but they are the same as everybody else. I guess I just know you love Jesus and you seem much better than you use to be." I kid you not...this is exactly what she said. It didn't offend me at all. My thought was "BINGO! Time to witness. Let's go, Holy Spirit!!!" It was an opportunity to tell somebody what it really means to be a Christian. 

Part of the issue, is society's misconception of what a Christian is or looks like. Somewhere along the line, we have given off a false sense of how to identify us. Traditionally Christians may have looked or been portrayed a certain way, due to tradition, denomination, or media. But we should be identifiable based on our relationship with Jesus Christ because that is where we are from. That is where we are "genetically" linked. Those are the habits we should have. Those of people from Christ. I want to act like Jesus did so you'll know we are related. I want to carry myself in a way that exudes joy, peace, and grace. We are called to be 'set apart'; in this world but not of it. Therefore, people in and of this world should be able to tell you are set apart (different) without you telling them. You should look differently, act differently, speak differently. 

So, what are the attributes of a Christian? How do Christian women look? 

Although it doesn't tell us in the bible exactly what outfits we should and should not wear, how much cleavage is acceptable, or how small our shorts can technically be, it does tell us that we should not do anything that would cause a brother or sister in Christ to fall. If wearing what has been deemed as sexy clothes is going to have men lusting and having ungodly thoughts then it's probably not the best option. Granted, some men will do so if you have on a potato sack so there is no need in helping them out. Women of God, Christian women should use modesty as the basis for determining attire. Modesty is behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency. Now I too struggle with this a bit so it is something that I am working on. I often take a second look in the mirror before wearing certain things and I keep in mind that I am a daughter of the Most High. We can still be beautiful and dress respectfully. We should be presentable, approachable, plus when you look good you feel good. 

Your nationality can also be visible in the way you live. Another way we can become identifiable as Christians is in how we conduct ourselves daily. 1 John 2:6 tells us that whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.  Maybe that's not that clear. Okay, here are some characteristics that the bible gives us that can help us improve our appearance as citizens of Jesus Christ. 

1 John 2:9 further tells us that anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in darkness. If you have hate in your heart, trust me it radiates out and people can tell through your attitude, bitter demeanor, or actions. Verses 15-16 tells us that we should not love the world or anything of the world. This means that we do not lust, be prideful, or live in sin. Christians do what is right, all the time, even when no one is watching (God is always watching by the way). Webster's dictionary considers this as having integrity, but I call it acting like Jesus. Granted we all fall and sinful thoughts are bound to pop in our heads, but there is a difference in it popping there and staying there. Sometimes we really have to stop and ask ourselves that old cliche, "What would Jesus do!?" Seriously. 1 Peter 2:15 says that by doing good, you silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. In your Christian walk, people may talk bad about you. But you should live your life in a way that no one will believe them. 

Colossians 3 tells us that we should set our sights on things above. This is evident in the way we live our lives. Those of us that belong to Christ don't participate in things that are sinful: sexual immorality or impurity (fornication, adultery, etc), evil desires (wishing bad on people), or greed. Do you really think if all I knew about God was the ten commandments and I see you breaking all eleven of them, I'm going to believe that you are a Christian? No ma'am. Definitely not. Going further Colossians gives us more instructions on how to carry ourselves as Christians. We are to rid ourselves of anger, rage, malice, talking bad about people, and filthy language. We should be respectful at all times. And we definitely shouldn't be professional liars. Yeeeah...no, sis. God is the Truth. Clearly He doesn't reside in you and you don't reside in Him if you are compelled to lie every time your lips part. 

We are instructed to clothe ourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. This is what a Christian looks like: pleasant. We are generally joyful, positive, optimistic, and encouraging. We dress with modesty, are well kept, and approachable. We are to love on people, let people know we love them and share the love of God. It will show in our actions. Christians are hard workers because we understand that we are working as though we are working for the Lord. We are to be peaceful....not messy. Not stirring trouble, looking for where the drama is and who is talking about who in their Facebook status so that we can call and tell someone else to look and see. Ah ha! (Forgive us, Lord). 

Christians are encouraging to others, we help the weak and are patient. We don't seek revenge but always strive to do what is good for each other and everyone else. (1 Thessalonians 5: 12-15) More than anything, we should take any opportunity possible to share the message of Christ, teaching those around us and praying with them. Yes, the most identifiable characteristic in where someone is from is when they begin to speak. Learn to speak Jesus, sis! It's so easy to know you are a Christian when people hear your "accent". 

And I'll cheat a little bit and give you one for free. Try to tell people, "God bless you" instead of "Thank you". Offer blessings to people as a sign of gratitude. When you are in the drive-thru getting food, if someone holds the door open for you at the store, or maybe when someone compliments your new hairstyle, instead of saying "Thanks" simply say "Bless you" and smile. Let's redefine what the world thinks a Christian looks like by our appearance and our acts! We are all family, we should all resemble our Father!!! 

Love you, 

-Kimyatta

Daily Prayer: Lord mold me into the image of Jesus Christ. Help me to live my life as a witness to Your kingdom. Make me identifiable God and mark me as a child of Yours, Heavenly Father. I am willing to do whatever I need to so that people will know I am from Christ, alive in Him and Christ lives in me! Make me over. 

Scripture to Study: To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow his steps. 1 Peter 2:21

Dangerous Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Read those lyrics again, sis. Don't just thoughtlessly sing along like you do when you hear it in church. Take a minute and let the lyrics actually sink in. Anybody that has been to church or was raised around somebody's grandma probably knows this hymn. Amazing Grace was written by John Newton over 100 years ago. Newton was a former slave trader who was said to have lived such a sinful, vile lifestyle that it almost drove him insane. He wrote the song after he cried out to God for forgiveness and was born again. Like, Mr. Newton, I was a mess! But because of God's amazing grace, I'm saved. Grace saved me. God has given me grace to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and to access His riches despite the fact that I lived like hell for so long. I definitely don't deserve it. But just like that... God loves me unconditionally and gives me grace to love Him back. And that very same grace, that has saved you as well... is often taken for granted. 

I've known the song since I was a very young child, but a few months back, during worship we began to sing it. Tears filled my eyes as I became overwhelmed with the significance of the lyrics. My heart filled with awe in realizing just what the songwriter was conveying. You see... you don't really understand Amazing Grace until you have been through some stuff; until you have experienced and understand just how amazing God's grace really is. 

Grace is a virtue from God, a gift to man, often considered unmerited favor. It is an undeserved assistance that is not earned or rewarded based on acts. You can't work for grace or get more of it because you are a super Christian. (Ephesians 2:8-9) No matter how bad we mess up or how convicted we feel, God forgives us based on His grace. There are different types of grace but the grace that has been described as amazing is the redeeming grace. It is the grace that allows us to maintain relationship with Christ and get back on a path of righteousness after we've fallen. Ephesians 2:4-5, might be one of the best passages to describe God's grace. (4) But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, (5) made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. Yeah, that is definitely amazing! Maybe I should remind you again...there is nothing that we can do to earn the grace that God gives us, it is received through faith. 

The sad thing is, Christians are dangerous in grace because we fully understand the extent of God's forgiveness. We know that we will be forgiven for our sins if we repent so we enter sin and compromising behavior with knowledge of God's grace and mercy. We then take advantage of this amazing grace that we are given. Romans 6:1-2 says "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Granted, I don't believe we should walk on eggshells; living life by putting more emphasis on trying not to sin than focusing on entering a relationship with Christ. But we also shouldn't take God's grace for granted. Grace is not permission to sin, it is an allowance to live in relationship with God after we sin. I don't believe that allowance extends to when we knowingly sin against God's word. 

It is important that we live in fear and reverence of God. Keep in mind that He holds the power of life and death in His hands and knows the motives of our hearts. As the songwriter said, not only did grace teach His heart to fear God, but it also gave Him peace. Incomprehensible .. just amazing. I say all of that to say this: 

I am guilty and I have heard others prelude a statement by saying "Lord, forgive me but...". If we are asking for forgiveness before even performing the act, that means we are committing premeditated sin. We, in fact, know that the thought we are having, the statement we are making, or the actions we are about to take are not right in God's eyes, therefore we ask for forgiveness first. Are we really asking God for permission to sin??!! The motives of our hearts are not right at all in these situations. 2 Corinthians 6:1 warns us not to take grace in vain. Unfortunately this is a habit that many of us have formed and in efforts of living lives that are acceptable to God, I challenge us to stop this. The next time you begin to say it or hear someone else do so, ask them to reconsider whatever it is they were going to say. James 4:17 says if anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them.  

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

This song has a totally different meaning when you truly understand what all grace has saved you from and how undeserving you are. Yes, grace has saved us from quite a bit thus far but we should never take for granted that we can continue to live as we want and expect to receive God's grace. That is the dangerous part about such an amazing grace. It is important that we repent and turn from ungodliness when God has given us grace because no man knows the time nor hour that the Son will return. 

Grace can be liken to a time period. Grace is the time period when God gives humanity His full mercy and favor. This time period is given so that we might be redeemed from our debt of sin. Our debt is due, yet God extends the payment period to allow us to obtain redemption. That's grace. Don't act like you've never taken advantage of a "grace period". That bill was due yesterday but you don't get paid until tomorrow. You were given a grace period of week to make the payment. Instead of going ahead and paying the bill tomorrow when you get paid... you wait until the last day of the "grace period". Not only that, you now know that the grace period is available so you probably won't pay it on time next month either. See where I'm going honey, that is taking advantage of grace. God gives us a grace period when we mess up. Instead of repenting and not purposely messing up again. We keep messing up because we know he is going to forgive us. Dangerous. 

In addition sis, repenting is more than just telling God you are sorry when asking for His grace. It is letting Him know you are grateful for His grace and won't do it again. Keep a healthy balance of God's grace as a gift to walk closely beside Him despite your falls while having fear and reverence that He can stop giving it to you it at any time. Don't take for granted that God will give us grace. It is unearned and undeserving. Just like with any other gift, the Giver can easily decide to withhold the gift. Not only that.... What if you messed up, intended to repent, forgot, and God called your number before He bestowed His grace? Keep grace amazing... not dangerous. 

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

With Love, 

-Kimyatta

Daily Prayer: Thank you Father, for your grace. I understand that you didn't have to give it to me and that you don't have to continue to have mercy on me. I know there is nothing I could ever do to repay you. I love and I am grateful that you love me.  

Scripture to Study: However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. Acts 20:24 

Eve's Other Curse

If I were to ask you what the result was of the fall in the garden of Eden, Eve's curse, you would probably respond "CRAMPS!" And although that is true, there were other parts of the curse that we very seldom hear about. A very large percentage of women desire male attention and companionship and are motivated by it. We dress in a manner to attract it, carry ourselves in a way that seeks it, we perfect skills that our ideal man would seek and overall attempt to make ourselves more desirable for our male counterparts. (Even if it is subtle.) Christian women battle this desire on a different level. Although we are fully aware that our focus should be on God completely, there is still a yearning that we have a hard time shaking. 

Even in our best efforts to convince ourselves that Jesus is all that we need, we still think about a "him" frequently throughout the day. We do it, ladies...well some of us do. Women that are in relationships or married are not exempt. You too were once single and even in the relationships that some of you have, you still may feel that something is lacking...emotionally, physically or spiritually. You desire for the man to do more or be more or just something else but you can't put your finger on it. And it can be very frustrating. Even if you don't desire for him to be more, you long for him. You miss him when he is not around and think about him throughout the day...sometimes excessively.  After praying, studying, and battling with this myself (moment of transparency), the Holy Spirit led me to an "ah ha!" moment. Follow me to Genesis 3:16, sis. This is the verse where God explains to Eve her punishment for being disobedient and eating from the tree of good and evil. 

To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." 

Wait, what? For years, I've learned that my period was the result of Eve eating the apple and that we were cursed with cramps and labor pains because of it. But never in all of my years had anyone ever pointed out that the second part of Eve's curse was to desire for a man, her husband, and him ruling over her. I mean, I've heard that the desire for a man was due to the lack of affection growing up, the absence of a father figure, and so on but this... oh, this makes sense. Ladies, the word explains this phenomenon as well in it's true prophetic manner. God knows what we are going through, He made us this way on purpose! Really, God... really?! 

While studying and researching theological history regarding Eve's curse, I happened upon a post written by a lady by the name of Debra. Debra, an evangelist and theologian, explains that the word desire as used in the verse can mean craving or longing. While a woman's desire/craving/longing should be for God, it is misplaced by the desire for a man. Therefore this curse bestowed upon women causes us to worship the men in our lives and look to them for the emotional, spiritual, and physical affirmation that only God can provide. We are seeking for man to meet needs that only God can meet. That is why there is often a lack in relationships. 

The problem becomes one of idolatry, a clear sin according to the word of God. Have you ever gone through a breakup or thought to yourself about your mate, "I couldn't/can't live without him." That is a clear sign of idolatry. Instead of recognizing our sovereign, compassionate, and wise Father as the one in which we should seek for fulfillment, we look for men to fulfill the need and become disappointed when our expectations are not met. If they are met, then this is still a yearning that we should have in seeking intimacy with God. It's the reason why we were created. But instead, because of Eve and her urge to snack on the apple, we struggle and have to focus harder to reach the level of intimacy we were created for, the fulfillment the Father offers, as part of the curse.  

As women we look to men, with high expectations that certain needs are met: “Lead me spiritually.  Provide for me physically.  Support me emotionally.”  You see sis, we don’t need to change our desire or craving.  We simply need to change the object of it. Let's look to God's word to see how He has promised to do these things for us: 

• God, I need spiritual direction and guidance.  “Certainly, child.  I will not leave you as an orphan.  I have sent my Spirit to bring to your remembrance all I have taught you, for apart from me, you can do nothing.”  John 15

• God, I need physical protection and provision.  “You can trust me, child.  Do not worry for your physical needs.  As I provide for the birds and flowers, I will provide for you.”  Matthew 6:26

• God, I need help emotionally.  “Yes, child.  Meditate on all I have declared over you through Christ.  You have received the full rights of a child of the King (Gal. 4:5).  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Women often perceive weakness or strength among each other by how they react when men fail them in these expectations we have set.  What we consider a strong woman is one who doesn't need men.  We consider a weak woman one who continues to follow a sorry man around like a puppy.  But the title of strong or weak in regard to men shouldn't be labels as the desire should be placed in God. In Christ, we have a new and different way altogether.  The woman bought by Christ who is set up as God’s daughter with full access to the King of kings has her needs met in Him. So it doesn't matter if a man fails her or if she doesn't need one, she is strong either way because of the God that is in her. God pours into her. God equips her. God satisfies her emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. So she doesn't have to worry about not needing a man, or being overly desperate for one. Her needs are met and she is content in Jesus despite the circumstances.   

Granted it appears as though this curse doesn't affect all women equally. That would make sense as well seeing as to how menstrual cramps and childbirth, the other curses, also do not affect women equally. Some women suffer a bit greater than others. In the same token, some women have a stronger desire for a man than others. But all of us were created for man, as his help-mate because God didn't think it was good for him to be alone. God’s help and affirmation are real and effective.  He will meet the void in our heart that years of looking to men have never filled and never will. I don't know about you sis but this makes all the sense in the world to me and I am grateful to God for revelation. Knowing is half the battle. Now we have to focus wholeheartedly, ask God to forgive us for expecting from man what only He can give.  

Now to tackle the final part of the curse "he will rule over her", from prayer and personal revelation, I believe that Eve's desire for a man to fulfill things that only God can will not only leave her with a greater battle to gain intimacy with Christ, but she will be more emotional. Her desire for him will rule over her thoughts. Many theologians derive from this sentence that this is where the role of submission comes into play. The woman's desire to run things but that not being God's order. And that very well may be, but I also believe here we are able to explain the emotional attachment that women have that men seemingly do not possess.

It is impossible for us to understand how God's word assures us that He is all we need until we understand what our problem is and why we have it.  It was part of the curse, the part less discussed.  


I love you, 
-Kimyatta

Daily Prayer: Lord, the one thing that I desire all the days of my life is to dwell in Your presence. I know that I may have been misplacing my needs and that You are the only one able to fulfill them. Help me to focus on You more than anything. 

Scripture to Study: One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Pray for Me...Maybe

How many times do we tell other people to pray for us or tell others that we will pray for them... and don't? Sometimes without thought, we will casually tell people "pray for me" or "I'll pray for you." It's rather common for us to offer prayer as a means of comfort. However sometimes it is not said thoughtfully, it has more so become an automatic response. The matter of prayer should be taken a little more serious than a casual response. 

After browsing social networks lately with various events that have prompted mourning and difficult situations, an outcry for prayer has been present among many. GREAT! Prayer is the best thing we can do in any situation. 
1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to pray continually or without ceasing. 

But an old friend, Vera, told me once, "I don't want just anybody praying for me." I never quite understood what she meant but now it's clear. Not everybody is praying for God's will, for your good and some aren't praying at all. 

While asking others to pray for you, do you know what they are praying for, who they are praying to, or if God hears them? You see sis, not everyone has a relationship with God that grants them access to be heard by Him. The relationship is available to all, but not all have it. Psalm 66:18 says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." Proverbs 28:9 says "If anyone turns a deaf ear to my instructions, even their prayers are detestable." Even those that are capable of praying for you may be praying against God's will, doing you more harm than good.  In addition, Satan hears some of those prayers too and is ready to send distractions and imitations of what we desire to get us off track. Be careful who you let pray for you and who you ask to pray for you. 

The other side of the coin is casually telling someone you will pray for them and not doing so. Maybe it was not intentional. Maybe your day became hectic, maybe more severe matters of the heart came up, or maybe you simply forgot. Telling someone you will pray for them and not doing so is worse than just not saying anything. But it has become the most common thing for us to tell someone, generally because we have nothing more comforting to say. Usually...there isn't anything more comforting to say.  It is a blessing to pray for people (we are called to pray for one another). But it is very important to pray for someone if you say you will. I challenge you to pray with someone the next time they ask you for prayer. Stop what you are doing right then, and pray with them briefly. Or keep a small list with you so that you can remember who to include in your prayers. I have one of these by my bed and keep notes in a notepad app in my phone as well. 

I've also heard people ask why prayer is needed when someone asked for prayer. "How am I suppose to know what to pray for if I don't know what is wrong?" It is not necessary for us to know what the exact issue is in order for us to pray for someone. Trust: when you send the prayer up on someone's behalf, God will know what it is in reference to. It is often good that we don't know what is going on with others when we pray for them because it keeps our flesh from judging them or inserting our own opinions subconsciously. If you are not quite sure what to say but want to pray for someone? Simply say, 

"Lord I ask that you provide comfort, strength, patience, and peace to __________. Please keep him/her in Your will, forgive him/her of their sins and guide their steps. Amen" 

It's as simple as that. And if you can't remember that, just say "Lord, have mercy." If it is sincerely from your heart, God will hear. That simple prayer covers practically everything. Some of the things that God has blessed you with; many of them that you don't even recall praying for are probably the result of someone else praying for you. Return the favor, my love. 

Love you,
- Kimyatta 

Daily Prayer: Lord, teach me how to pray and hear my prayers. Bless those that have prayed for me and allow me to be a blessing by praying for others. 

Scripture to Study: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

This post is dedicated to and in celebration of the life of Dr. David L. Boyle. An amazing man of God, the man that baptized me. We all live for the moment he now has, to see the face of the One we love, our Heavenly Father. That is more of a reason to rejoice than to mourn. It's home-going glory...