Eve's Other Curse

If I were to ask you what the result was of the fall in the garden of Eden, Eve's curse, you would probably respond "CRAMPS!" And although that is true, there were other parts of the curse that we very seldom hear about. A very large percentage of women desire male attention and companionship and are motivated by it. We dress in a manner to attract it, carry ourselves in a way that seeks it, we perfect skills that our ideal man would seek and overall attempt to make ourselves more desirable for our male counterparts. (Even if it is subtle.) Christian women battle this desire on a different level. Although we are fully aware that our focus should be on God completely, there is still a yearning that we have a hard time shaking. 

Even in our best efforts to convince ourselves that Jesus is all that we need, we still think about a "him" frequently throughout the day. We do it, ladies...well some of us do. Women that are in relationships or married are not exempt. You too were once single and even in the relationships that some of you have, you still may feel that something is lacking...emotionally, physically or spiritually. You desire for the man to do more or be more or just something else but you can't put your finger on it. And it can be very frustrating. Even if you don't desire for him to be more, you long for him. You miss him when he is not around and think about him throughout the day...sometimes excessively.  After praying, studying, and battling with this myself (moment of transparency), the Holy Spirit led me to an "ah ha!" moment. Follow me to Genesis 3:16, sis. This is the verse where God explains to Eve her punishment for being disobedient and eating from the tree of good and evil. 

To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." 

Wait, what? For years, I've learned that my period was the result of Eve eating the apple and that we were cursed with cramps and labor pains because of it. But never in all of my years had anyone ever pointed out that the second part of Eve's curse was to desire for a man, her husband, and him ruling over her. I mean, I've heard that the desire for a man was due to the lack of affection growing up, the absence of a father figure, and so on but this... oh, this makes sense. Ladies, the word explains this phenomenon as well in it's true prophetic manner. God knows what we are going through, He made us this way on purpose! Really, God... really?! 

While studying and researching theological history regarding Eve's curse, I happened upon a post written by a lady by the name of Debra. Debra, an evangelist and theologian, explains that the word desire as used in the verse can mean craving or longing. While a woman's desire/craving/longing should be for God, it is misplaced by the desire for a man. Therefore this curse bestowed upon women causes us to worship the men in our lives and look to them for the emotional, spiritual, and physical affirmation that only God can provide. We are seeking for man to meet needs that only God can meet. That is why there is often a lack in relationships. 

The problem becomes one of idolatry, a clear sin according to the word of God. Have you ever gone through a breakup or thought to yourself about your mate, "I couldn't/can't live without him." That is a clear sign of idolatry. Instead of recognizing our sovereign, compassionate, and wise Father as the one in which we should seek for fulfillment, we look for men to fulfill the need and become disappointed when our expectations are not met. If they are met, then this is still a yearning that we should have in seeking intimacy with God. It's the reason why we were created. But instead, because of Eve and her urge to snack on the apple, we struggle and have to focus harder to reach the level of intimacy we were created for, the fulfillment the Father offers, as part of the curse.  

As women we look to men, with high expectations that certain needs are met: “Lead me spiritually.  Provide for me physically.  Support me emotionally.”  You see sis, we don’t need to change our desire or craving.  We simply need to change the object of it. Let's look to God's word to see how He has promised to do these things for us: 

• God, I need spiritual direction and guidance.  “Certainly, child.  I will not leave you as an orphan.  I have sent my Spirit to bring to your remembrance all I have taught you, for apart from me, you can do nothing.”  John 15

• God, I need physical protection and provision.  “You can trust me, child.  Do not worry for your physical needs.  As I provide for the birds and flowers, I will provide for you.”  Matthew 6:26

• God, I need help emotionally.  “Yes, child.  Meditate on all I have declared over you through Christ.  You have received the full rights of a child of the King (Gal. 4:5).  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Women often perceive weakness or strength among each other by how they react when men fail them in these expectations we have set.  What we consider a strong woman is one who doesn't need men.  We consider a weak woman one who continues to follow a sorry man around like a puppy.  But the title of strong or weak in regard to men shouldn't be labels as the desire should be placed in God. In Christ, we have a new and different way altogether.  The woman bought by Christ who is set up as God’s daughter with full access to the King of kings has her needs met in Him. So it doesn't matter if a man fails her or if she doesn't need one, she is strong either way because of the God that is in her. God pours into her. God equips her. God satisfies her emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. So she doesn't have to worry about not needing a man, or being overly desperate for one. Her needs are met and she is content in Jesus despite the circumstances.   

Granted it appears as though this curse doesn't affect all women equally. That would make sense as well seeing as to how menstrual cramps and childbirth, the other curses, also do not affect women equally. Some women suffer a bit greater than others. In the same token, some women have a stronger desire for a man than others. But all of us were created for man, as his help-mate because God didn't think it was good for him to be alone. God’s help and affirmation are real and effective.  He will meet the void in our heart that years of looking to men have never filled and never will. I don't know about you sis but this makes all the sense in the world to me and I am grateful to God for revelation. Knowing is half the battle. Now we have to focus wholeheartedly, ask God to forgive us for expecting from man what only He can give.  

Now to tackle the final part of the curse "he will rule over her", from prayer and personal revelation, I believe that Eve's desire for a man to fulfill things that only God can will not only leave her with a greater battle to gain intimacy with Christ, but she will be more emotional. Her desire for him will rule over her thoughts. Many theologians derive from this sentence that this is where the role of submission comes into play. The woman's desire to run things but that not being God's order. And that very well may be, but I also believe here we are able to explain the emotional attachment that women have that men seemingly do not possess.

It is impossible for us to understand how God's word assures us that He is all we need until we understand what our problem is and why we have it.  It was part of the curse, the part less discussed.  


I love you, 
-Kimyatta

Daily Prayer: Lord, the one thing that I desire all the days of my life is to dwell in Your presence. I know that I may have been misplacing my needs and that You are the only one able to fulfill them. Help me to focus on You more than anything. 

Scripture to Study: One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.